For the domestically befuddled

So I am aware of the legend pertaining to "men" deliberately demonstrating a lack of functionality in the realm of domestic chores; it has to be deliberate; it just has to be.

In the interests of fostering amity, a few instructions follow, to assist those creatures who claim to be able to maintain car engines, but seemingly have no ability for much simpler tasks.

Hanging Out The Washing...Policy

1. Set the line to be taught, so as not to sag, and to reduce movement when in operation
2. Wipe the line with a fresh cloth, in order to remove any dirt or residue, thereby reducing the risk of marks on the items drying on the line
3. Hang larger items first, in order to allocate them the optimum position for drying
4. Assign any less attractive items to areas with the least visibility; we have the neighbours to think of after all
5. Position bedding, towels, and similar items, to be evenly distributed on each side of the line, corner to corner; pegging carefully at one end, before straightening the material before securing at the other; attach additional pegs in the middle of larger objects as required. This approach will aid drying, reduce creases, and allow for each item to be folded correctly as it is removed from the line; the appearance of the washing line will also be benefitted
   
6. Attach trousers at the waist band; air flow is improved this way; do NOT fold the leg over the line and peg it closed
7. Attach shirts at the hem, ideally one peg to each side seam; ensure that the sleeves are pulled through; do NOT hang shirts out buttoned up, although how they got into the washing machine in that condition doesn't bare thinking about
8. Although it is not an ideal situation, underwear should be pegged sparingly; two socks to a peg; one peg to briefs; obviously the socks should match and the briefs should be pegged at the label. Please refer to item 4 if you are not fussy enough about your choice of underwear; ask your sister if you're not sure
   
9. When attaching a peg, please remember that the location of the item on the line needs to be maintained; attaching a standard peg on the larger of the two holes will allow the item to move around the line, perhaps ending up over the fence, nestled in the neighbours gardenia; this is sure to get you into trouble, one way or another
10. If you have the responsibility to hang the washing out and have done so, it is your duty to maintain awareness of the washing; only hang it out if it is unlikely to rain; bring the washing in if rain occurs; remember to check that the washing is dry and bring it in off the line when it is

Ten simple points; all common sense; mostly disregarded by the retarded sex.

Thank you for your time.

Unexpected Impact

So I'm here in the office; reasonably secure in my job; happy to have some sunshine; looking forward to our planned trip to Amsterdam; yadda.

I receive an email; please mark Joe Bloggs as a leaver as of tomorrow; another email; 'Today is my last day'; it goes on.

In the current climate, these things are happening with increasing frequency; it will subside; it will improve. Every once in a while however, it tugs on the heart strings, undermines the emotional callouses. Every once in a while.

Today I'm remembering all the terrific opportunities I've had here; trips to China; visits to the Philippines; the characters I've worked with; colleagues; friends; and the evolution of these relationships into...so much less than they were.

Life goes on; people change; drift; move on. I suppose it comes with the territory; we keep the memories, and hang on to whatever else we can.

It Did Snow

So Dad and Dunge have a more picturesque snowscape...

...but they're all old and retired and can afford it...

...okay not old, but definately retired.

Supermarket Shopper

So the problem with the legislation surrounding supermarket shopping is...there isn't any.

I needed to go to Asda this morning; the spring cleaning season has arrived; my enthusiasm is peaking; the house will be empty, barring myself; there are supplies that are required to support the continuity of progress.

It is Saturday morning, and so one expects that the supermarkets will be replete with mothers, children, students, oldsters; indeed, the entire spectrum of the species. One does not go to the supermarket on a Saturday and expect it to be plain sailing; one does, however, anticipate ones ability to circumnavigate the chaos, and to make reasonable progress, despite the unfortunate hinderance of the spatially befuddled.

Whilst one is driven toward completing this obstacle course, it is of course important, to remain patient with those, who are seemingly on a similar mission, but appear to be lacking any focus, any manners, or any road sense. Arrests are less likely, when one projects an air of humanitarianism, and aims to reach ones goal, without being sidetracked by chavs at the kitchen utensil gondola.

I do however, take severe exception, to supermarket aisles, or indeed the aisles at any retail outlet, being blocked by housewives, harridans, chavs or shrews...just having a chat. Perhaps I'm being too specific here.

When the functionality of a retail outlet, in particular a supermarket, depends upon free flowing traffic, it is entirely unacceptable, to be blocking the aforementioned traffic, with the express purpose, of 'catching up with Sandra'.

It is entirely beyond the boundaries of civilised behaviour, in particular where the movement of traffic is impaired, as standard, at 'rush hour', to just stop, in your tracks, with your 'mate', and your respective trollies, and your hoards of 'children', slap bang in the middle of the shopping aisle.

I'm getting a little het up here, and can feel a hoard of related incidents racing to the surface; I should probably stop before I rant on into the evening.

Suffice it to say that laws are made for a variety of reasons, and I for one would very much welcome, some form of capital punishment, for poorly behaved lesser mortals, that have to share my airspace, and can't behave correctly. The management of supermarket traffic could be improved, thereby diminishing workload, thereby cutting costs; happy faces all round. We could perhaps finish our shop on a high note, watching the previously alluded to miscreants, receiving a good leathering in the carpark.

I miss the old days.

Winter Walk

It was rather fun walking into work today; the snow; the smiling faces; every man and his dog taking pictures; and who am I to stay on the sidelines.

My walk into work...in pictures.

The back garden...


...Big J, clearing the car...


....the fields next to the house...


...families making mahusive snowmen at 8am...

...Wilford Grove...

...Nottingham Canal...

...olde worlde street lamp...

...the Lace Centre behind the office...

...and finally Robin Hood