And life becomes...

KTV

So we went to KTV on Thursday night; I love KTV!

For those of you that aren't aware, there are KTV bars all over Hangzhou, probably all over China, who knows. The premise is simple; you go in, hire a room, fill it full of bevvies, drink, smoke, dance, and sing. All of the aforementioned are optional of course, but when in Rome.

I know it just sounds like karaoke, but it isn't; the rooms are private and well kitted out with decent furniture, big screens, good quality sound systems, disco lighting, plenty of microphones, and a console for queuing songs that will allow for volume and pitch changes of the backing track and the microphone. There may be more, but that's all I need.

It was Big Ds idea; he's a big fan.


I'm not sure if SD was a big fan, but what he lacked in talent, he made up for with enthusiasm.


Our CEO was the big shocker; great singer; well into it.


I was sitting it out mostly, letting the locals demonstrate their talents; tonnes of great singers there; really enjoyable, even when we're dealing with Chinese chart toppers...which are more difficult to get into.


Apperently the Macarena came on, and the boys began to dance; unfortunately I had NO idea what the moves are and had to sit it out.


Shortly afterwards, I may have reached my alcohol tolerance level.

And shortly after that...

Friday night...I went to KTV again.

Poof

So I keep bumping into J when we're out drinking; he's an English teacher from the US...ironically; he's friendly and seemingly incapable of recognising that I bat for the other side.

Last night he called me on my China mobile; was I single; he was stuck in a bar or KTV with three attractive girls and did I want to come and meet them.

"No thanks" says I "and dude, I'm a poofter".

"Do you know any single guys?" he responded "the girls are really hot and want some company".

I again declined and was poised for the conversation to end.

"Dude, did you say you're a poof; shit man, you're the second poof I've called today".

We laughed.

I called A; I had to tell her; I couldn't quite fathom Js obliviousness.

I received a text back from her shortly afterwards.

"J said he just thought you were very British."

Hail!

So I've passed my CISA exam and will be applying for certification; letters after my name and everything; and I have already received countless jibes about yippy dogs and pet food before you get started.


All four of us have passed now, and needless to say I didn't get the highest score in the team; I wouldn't have the lowest score now either if 'he who shall remain nameless' hadn't buggered off; but hey, if employability is in any way related to your CISA score, then I'm very happy to be on his level. For the record, our Chinese player got top marks, and passed first time, and nobody likes a smart arse :-)

We have been disgussing the collective noun for CISAs; I didn't care for some of the recommendations; fiddle being my least favourite for obvious reasons...one hopes. We have settled on 'an inquisition of CISAs'; somebody fetch the comfy chair.

Mothers Ruin

So I went to Maya Bar last night; a local haunt that is popular with the ex-pat community. I may have had a good time.

I was planning on staying in and cooking for Dong Highway, but Bummers texted me to see if I would meet up with him for a drink in Maya. As B is leaving shortly it seemed best to take him up on the invitation; I will be working late for the rest of the week and would only get to see him for his leaving do otherwise.

I managed to direct the taxi driver to the right place, which was a neat trick as his Chinese was terrible. B was late; I ate my burritos in solitude and attempted to appear superior to all and sundry...like you do. I also ordered a G&T, which is becoming a little habitual; I've never been keen, and they have had the effect of making me a little sleepy in the past; no more.

Not being particularly familiar with the taste of G&T, I didn't really notice that it was a little strong; the next one was notably stronger; after that I think it may have just been the G; perhaps my emphasis was incorrect when I ordered the drink; G&T ... if you like. Needless to say, after a few of these I was a little sloshed; of course my moto stands: if I can't remember it, then it didn't happen.

B turned up, laiden with books for distribution prior to his departure from China; he gifted me with one of them, a terrifying read apparently; subsequently a great choice for reading alone in a foreign country. We got to chatting. I had forgotten how funny B was...G&T notwithstanding...and very much enjoyed catching up with him.

One of the running club turned up to join us; the last remaining member it turns out; D is studying in the US; P has moved to Prague; C has returned to Oz; etc. Then Yoko arrived; then we joined Abi and co; then I spilt my drink; then I got another one; then I woke up.

I love Maya Bar.

Spoke with The Schmuck this morning; apparently gin is one of the few spirits that is cheap in China; hence the generous portions.

I love it when a plan comes together.